
Me walkin up to the counter at Popeyes SMACKED outta my mind bout to order 8 chicken sammiches

i don’t think it’s possible to convey to young people what it was like being a kid and watching adventure time as it aired and noticing all the background hints to the mushroom war and forming the usual 3edgy5me childhood ruined fan theories about it and having them turn out to not only be true but also go on to form the entire thematic and emotional foundation of the series
you have to understand we didn’t have lighthearted animated comedies for kids that took a dramatic turn towards dark fantasy like that. this was before everyone started doing that

This is a post aimed at me and other people who constantly fall into guilt spirals over all the things they can’t do, and feel they should somehow magically be able to do anyway.
For me, and for the others, this is a gentle reminder:
- Posts asking for monetary donations are speaking to people who have money. Not your broke ass, still worrying how to buy food next month.
- Posts asking you to care about [extreme injustice of the day] are speaking to people who have energy to care. Not you, hanging onto your sanity by the fingernails.
And, most importantly: posts telling you that you are horrible/cheap/awful/rude/unworthy/unlikable if you don’t pay/reblog/signal boost/care? Those posts can fucking die in a fire.
TL;DR: Posts asking for shit you are not physically or mentally able to give?
THOSE POSTS ARE NOT FOR YOU.

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
:)
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.

tumblr tabs if they didn’t suck

Getting genetically modified so that I have long canine fangs that are hollow like a snake’s but instead of deadly venom I can inject 2.5-5mL of estradiol valerate.
I do this not as a fetish thing but because I love women and want to help them.

if you are ever out here w the take “society LOVES feminine men and masculine women what about the poor feminine women and masculine men” I need u to know you have entirely submersed yourself in niche online communities and have lost touch w the very real world we live in and you owe every masculine woman and feminine man $100